


I Will Bring You Home

by SideStepping



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Imprisonment, M/M, Magic Revealed, Minor Character Death, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-13 11:37:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1224844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SideStepping/pseuds/SideStepping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin saves Arthur from a bandit attack, revealing his magic at the same time. Furious, Arthur banishes Merlin from Camelot and thinking Arthur no longer cares - Merlin goes. But danger waits for Merlin beyond Camelot's walls and through his trials, he begins to learn that maybe Arthur does still love him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where the idea for this came from but I wanted to write a Canon AU and just sort of set off ... :)
> 
> I'll update when I can (and when I think of what to write next) this is mainly giving me a break from all the fests I'm taking part in at the moment. 
> 
> The rating at the moment stands at Teen but it may go up.
> 
> The Minor Character Death happens at the end of Chapter 2 and is non-graphic, off screen.

I would have turned the world upside down for you, Merlin thinks, as he turns his back on Arthur and walks from the courtyard, the palace, the city. He just walks.

Because Arthur didn't want him. So what was the point?

* * *

_"The attackers are in the castle sire," Leon says, hurrying into the room, his eyes wide with urgency._

_"Summon the Knights," Arthur orders, slipping into his chain-mail with ease and taking the sword from Merlin's hand._

_They move swiftly from Arthur's chambers, hurrying down the corridors, already able to hear the shouts from the courtyard below._

_Then, there's an explosion - one so fierce it rocks the very foundations of the castle._

_Arthur freezes. "It must be sorcery," he growls._

_Merlin readies himself._

* * *

 He walks all day, avoiding the roads and through the woods, heading for Camelot's borders.

He'll go anywhere to escape the memory of Arthur.

A sound behind him makes him look round and he instinctively summons his magic so it's cradled just below his skin, ready to burst forth if need be.

* * *

_The courtyard is in ruins. A great smoking crater lies in the center and bodies are scattered all around.  
_

_Too many to count, too many to think about._

_There's no one in sight and the hairs on the back of Merlin's neck stand up._

_Arthur signals for the Knights to spread out and search. Merlin stays close to Arthur's side, thinking desperately that they shouldn't be out in the open._

* * *

 Bandits burst forth from every side, so many, and so fast that Merlin is overwhelmed. 

He doesn't see the blow coming to the back of his head and when unconsciousness comes, he almost welcomes it.

* * *

_A solitary figure steps out from the gateway, their face hidden in shadow beneath a deep hood._

_Merlin can sense the magic on the man and inches even closer to Arthur._

_The other Knights are too far away to come to their aid and Merlin realises a second too late that there is another sorcerer behind them._

* * *

He wakes slowly, pain blinding him as he tries to lift his head and a soft, cruel laugh above him when his captor realises he is awake. 

"No no, you stay there," a man's voice speaks, "I am told the effects of the poison are quite brutal if you try to move too much."

Merlin's not quite with it and he reaches out a hand in his temporary blindness to try and summon his magic.

Burning fire courses through his veins and as he screams, the man above him is laughing again.

* * *

_Merlin would have been able to duck in time - he could sense the magic coming. But Arthur had no such reflexes when it came to the use of sorcery._

_Afterwards, Merlin decides that what he did was the only thing he could have done as the two flaming fire balls shoot at them from opposite directions._

_With a flick of his hand and a glow in his eyes, the fire balls are reflected, speeding back to their origins._

_The two sorcerers couldn't have expected that._

_The stench of burning rolls through the courtyard._

* * *

"The young King is fond of you," the man is saying.

Merlin can see now but he can't move - the poison is far too potent.

The man's words make him chuckle however even though it causes him pain. _Arthur doesn't care any more._

* * *

  _Arthur's expression breaks Merlin.  
_

_"You're a sorcerer?" he shouts, his sword in his hand pointed directly at Merlin's throat._

_"You?!"_

_"I trusted you! I cared for you! I **loved** you!!"_

_"Arthur please ..." Merlin begs._

_"Go!" Arthur roars, "get away from here, sorcerer!"_

_Something cold drops down inside of him. I would have turned the world upside down for you, Merlin thinks, as he turns his back on Arthur and walks from the courtyard, the palace, the city. He just walks._

_Because Arthur didn't want him. So what was the point?_

* * *

"You've got it wrong," Merlin rasps back through the pain. "Arthur doesn't care for me. Not any more."

"That would not seem to be the case," his captor replies, yellow teeth bared as he grins at Merlin.

"Why would you think that?" Merlin asks, his certainty faltering.

"Considering the ransom he had just paid - I would believe he does care."

Merlin blinks. 

"You've got it wrong," he stammers.

His captor shrugs.

"We shall see," he responds, stretching in his seat as he gets up and leave the cell.

"For now though, I think I'll keep you here - see how long the King will continue to pay for his pet sorcerer. And anyway," he adds as he locks the cells door, leering down at Merlin where he lies on the floor, "I'm quite enjoying watching you scream."

Then he goes, leaving Merlin alone with the pain and the doubt.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The net of enemies closes in around Arthur as Merlin fights his foes, outside and inside of him alike.

_Arthur looks down at him through his lashes and Merlin's heart starts beating in double time._

_"We really should be getting back," Arthur says, the disappointment plain in his voice._

_Merlin however, simply snaked a hand up to gently brush a small leave which had settled on Arthur's face, away._

_"No one will notice," he supplies simply._

_Arthur lies there for a moment more, watching Merlin a quiet, caring smile on his face._

_"I like that we can be ourselves out here. Just you and me - nothing between us."_

_His words stab Merlin to the very core._

* * *

"I'm impressed," his captor says, "it's not just your King who wants to get his hands on you. I've had multiple requests."

Merlin watches him, glaring fiercely from where he lies on the cell floor, trapped by the pain that explodes inside him with even the slightest movement.

"Who else?" he asks softly, his voice barely more than a whisper after the screams which had torn themselves from his body.

"Morgana Pendragon has asked to pay a visit. Seems your fame has spread far and wide."

Merlin rises from where he lies, forgetting for a moment the pain.

The pain won't let him forget for long. His back arches in a long drawn out scream as a thousand burning knifes bury themselves into him.

"I think I'll tell our lady she'll be most welcome."

* * *

Arthur had shouted, raged, broken down and now he sits, simply gazing into the fire.

Merlin was a sorcerer. Merlin was gone.

A knock on his door brings him face to face with the less than pleasant sight of his uncle, Agravaine.

"Sire," Agravaine says, looking grim, "I and others were concerned. You have not been heard of."

"I said I wanted to be alone," Arthur growls back.

"Sire, we heard you had paid the ransom for the sorcerer," Agravaine says.

"And?"

"I was ... wondering about your reasons," Agravaine replies hesitantly. "He is a sorcerer, who betrayed you."

"He's ..." Arthur's voice breaks. He returns his gaze to the fire. My friend. My lover. My heart and soul.

"Sire?" Agravaine prompts.

"Leave me." Arthur snaps.

Sensing defeat, Agravaine retreats and Arthur bites his knuckles as the door shuts in a bid to stop his emotions escaping him.

_Why did I let you go?_

* * *

Merlin is alone again and now, instead of doubt he is filled with nothing but a churning, boiling pit of dread.

Morgana knew. Morgana must have guessed he was Emrys. Agravaine was still in Camelot.

How long would they wait before turning on Arthur?

He should never have left. 

His captor seems to enjoy watching Merlin squirm but has gone away for something. Merlin hopes it isn't Morgana.

He isn't sure of the time of day or how long he's been in the cell. All he knows is that his bones aches from physical and emotional pain alike.

Did Arthur still care? Could he still know Merlin as the friend and lover he had been upon realising Merlin had lied to him?

The look of utter betrayal on Arthur's face flickers before Merlin's eyes and he lets out a choked sob.

Arthur didn't want him.

* * *

 Arthur doesn't bother eating. Doesn't bother sleeping. 

He isn't surprised when another ransom note arrives.

More money.

Don't they realise he'd give everything to have Merlin back in his arms?

He pays it.

Agravaine disapproves.

There's murmurings in the castle. Some say he's been bewitched. Some say he's losing his mind.

Some say he's still too young to have taken the throne. Maybe Agravaine should act as regent.

Arthur buries his head in his hands and sends away people who come to visit.

* * *

 Morgana appears at Merlin's cell door, her painted lips twisted in a smirk.

"So at last we see each other for who we are," she says, " _Emrys_."

His cell door opens at her command and she steps inside, kneeling at his side so her cloak brushes her face.

"You needn't worry - your captor won't be bothering you again."

Merlin swallows back his distaste at how impassive she seems at having just killed a man.

"In fact, I don't believe anyone will be bothering you for some time now," she says, a wicked grin twisting her features. "Except Arthur I suppose."

Merlin frowns at her words but the poison still in his veins prevents him from doing much more.

Morgana raises a hand and casting it along his body, chants a spell.

She gets up and leaves without explanation, leaving the cell door wide.

Merlin attempts to reach out in her direction but the pain returns in a tidal wave of fire.

And somewhere, in the back of his mind, he can tell its not just him that's screaming.

* * *

Arthur first feels the pain during a council meeting. It burns through him causing him to lash out suddenly and uncontrollably, his screams ricocheting off the stone in the council chambers.

People speak to him, worried, loud voices but all he can really make out is that this pain is not his own.

It's Merlin's and somewhere, far away, Merlin is screaming out in agony too.

It subsides after a moment, leaving Arthur breathless.

Agravaine is by his side in an instant.

"Sire you are unwell," Agravaine says and instructs some Knights to carry Arthur to his chambers.

Arthur protests feebly, still lost in the ache that Merlin is feeling.

"Merlin?" he gasps out but whoever is with him ignores him.

He is laid on his bed and then left. Arthur finds it strange that no one is tending to him and as his looks around, a fear awakens within him.

"Merlin?"  


	3. Chapter 3

_The words are on the tip of Merlin's tongue._

_I'm a sorcerer. I have magic._

_It would be so easy to say. He's been holding back these words for so long._

_He just doesn't want to hurt Arthur._

_Because it_ would _hurt Arthur._

_To realise that Merlin's been lying to him. After all this time when Arthur believed they had both been honest and open._

_And from Arthur's smile, his clear happiness, Merlin can't bear to tell him. He doesn't want to see the happiness end._

_I love you Arthur._

_And that's why I'm holding back. I love you too much to tell you. I can't hurt you like that._

* * *

Arthur is so tired. But he can't sleep.

Knowing Merlin is out there somewhere, in danger, in pain. How could he sleep knowing that?

And also, in the castle, there are other worries.

He walks from his chambers, ignoring the whispers and glances he receives from servants and courtiers and heads for the council chambers.

He knows Agravaine is there. Knows what Agravaine is doing. And he'll be damned if he'll give up his kingdom like this.

There's an ache in his chest; mainly residue from the attack on his senses from Merlin earlier, but also because something inside him is trying to point out what is right in front of him.

And he doesn't want to give in and acknowledge it.

Agravaine is no longer on his side.

* * *

Don't move.

Don't move.

It's Merlin's only plan. The less he moves, the less Arthur will feel of his pain and the longer Arthur will be able to fight.

Morgana must be nearly at Camelot now.

He stays in the cell, the door wide open, his captor dead and yet unable to escape.

Sliding between waking and consciousness, he bitterly realises that if he had not left Camelot, this wouldn't be happening.

It had been, it _still was_ , his destiny to protect Arthur and in a moment of anger, he had gone. Hadn't tried to talk to Arthur, to reason with him. He hadn't given Arthur a chance.

Now Arthur had no chance.

A stray spider spins downwards on a thread of spider-silk. Merlin watches it, he has little else to do, and tries to distract his mind from what might be happening in Camelot.

Would he feel the sudden pain of a sword to the side? Would he feel Arthur's despair, his defeat?

Would he do nothing? _Could_ he do nothing?

* * *

He enters the council chambers, noting which Knights and courtiers are there, which have turned to Agravaine's side as Agravaine hands a sheaf of papers to a servant.

His face flashes through shocked and confused, to some vague resemblance of concern. A smirk curls his lips as he takes in Arthur's loose shirt, bare feet and rough appearance.

Arthur notices.

"I was wondering why the council has convened," Arthur says, standing in the center of the room whilst everyone discreetly avoids his eyes.

Agravaine however, maintains his heavy gaze, assessing whether Arthur is a threat.

Oh, Arthur saw it all now. He didn't understand how he hadn't seen it before.

"I have not called the council," Arthur continues, "you have no reason to be here."

Gazes turn to Agravaine - looking for _leadership_.

"You were unwell my Lord," Agravaine replies, slippery as always, "and you have not been yourself for some time. The council was deciding the best course of action."

"There is no need," Arthur says, regarding Agravaine coldly, "I am well now."

"Sire ..." Agravaine lets his gaze travel over Arthur with something like sympathy in it and Arthur knows the other council members have noticed.

Arthur coughs but at the same time a twinge of pain spasms down his side.

_Not now Merlin. Please._

At first berating himself for his selfishness, then gasping out and clutching at his side as fierce barbs of pain shoot through him.

He shouts out, going blind as stars spark in front of his eyes. Falling to his knees, he hears faint calls of concern.

He doesn't notice them because a realisation blossoms in front of him.

This isn't Merlin's pain. This isn't like before. This is his own pain.

He raises his eyes to Agravaine and as his traitorous uncle steps forward, Agravaine is smiling.

* * *

Merlin roars out. Arthur's pain coursing through his veins. The pain, the poison and Morgana's spell shattering every sense of himself and all his surroundings fading into nothingness.

Arthur was in pain. Arthur was in danger.

Nothing else mattered.

He gets to his his feet, his blood on fire but his magic fighting back. This is his magic's purpose, his duty to protect Arthur. He forges forwards, out of the cell, no longer noticing his own pain and only feeling Arthur's.

And that forces him onwards.

* * *

Poison. Agravaine had poisoned him. Leon, Gwaine, Elyan and Percival were all out on a patrol. Gaius had had to travel to a nearby village to heal a young sick child. Merlin was gone. Who now was loyal to him?

He barely even notices that he's being thrown into a cell until the metal door slams shut, cutting off his escape.

He rolls onto his back, his whole body aching from the effects of the poison.

Agravaine had betrayed him. Merlin was gone. He was defenceless, in a cell and alone.

 _King_ of Camelot, no more.

 


	4. Chapter 4

When Agravaine's face appears at Arthur's cell door, Arthur's far from surprised to see a smirk tugging at his mouth.

He struggles into a sitting position, the poison in his veins, which he still isn't sure how Agravaine administered to him, is wearing thin, but he still shakes as his body attempts to give way under him.

"Uncle," he says, attempting a cold, withdrawn tone but it comes out as more of a weak rasp.

Agravaine smiles wider.

"I hope you're not too put out by your new lodgings," Agravaine says, his gaze roaming round the cell, "I and others thought it would be best, to save you and others from yourself. You've been so _unpredictable_ of late."

"You know full well ... " Arthur begins angrily but a deep wave of nausea overcomes him. Tilting sideways against the wall, he vomits, barely able to hold himself up from falling face down onto the floor.

When he regains his composure, he looks back at Agravaine who is still watching, still smiling.

"It does please me, you know," he says, leaning forward and resting and arm against the cell bars to leer down at Arthur, "to see you brought so low. You've always been so high and mighty - so proud. Look at you now." His sneer is obvious but Arthur distances himself from his emotions - Agravaine only wants to provoke him. Arthur finds, strangely, that he doesn't care.

"Morgana will be pleased to see you no doubt," Agravaine and Arthur jerks his head up, shock and fear washing over him.

"No ... not you. You wouldn't ... with her," he gasps out.

Agravaine chuckled. "I've been with her from the start, she was so much more understanding of my pain. Of what you and your father did to this family." His voice turns to a snarl.

Arthur weakly realises that Morgana must be on her way, and here he was, defenceless.

"But have no doubt, when the time comes to burn you on the pyre I will set the fire ablaze myself."

Arthur lets out a faint sigh as Agravaine leaves.

At least the Knights would still be loyal, Gwaine, Percival, Elyan and Leon would all be back soon, they wouldn't let Camelot fall.

He struggles to his feet and stumbles to the left, grasping for support on the wall. If anything, he had to find some way to escape. The people of Camelot needed his protection and Arthur was never one to give up.

* * *

Camelot's walls were defended to the last, and as Merlin creeps through the bushes near to the main gates, he sees guards he doesn't even recognise. And some dressed in uniforms from kingdoms beyond Camelot.

Morgana must have arrived.

His magic flows freely now, not hindered by the poison. The only sensation he has is a faint nauseous one which he guesses must be Arthur's.

Sick is better than dead, he reminds himself.

He's about to make a dash for the gates when a sword tip, pressed into his back makes him freeze.

"That would be unwise," a familiar voice says and Merlin spins round a smile bright on his face.

"Gwaine!"

* * *

_"I love you Arthur," Merlin whispers, leaning close to Arthur and Arthur inhales his scent, fresh and sweet.  
_

_"I love you too," Arthur replies, linking his fingers through Merlin's and sinking back into the bed under Merlin's weight._

_"Never leave me?" Merlin asks, reaching down for a kiss which Arthur meets, grasping the back of Merlin's head to tug him closer._

_They break and Merlin looks expectant, waiting for an answer._

_"Never." Arthur confirms._

* * *

"Keep it down," Gwaine hushes him, moving past Merlin to spy on the gates.

Behind Gwaine, Percival, Elyan and Leon are waiting.

"So we're trusting him," Leon asks, looking suspicious of Merlin.

Merlin's smile falters under Leon's gaze but Gwaine just snorts.

"Think about what you're saying Leon," he counters, "this is Merlin."

Merlin meets Leon's eyes, hopeful, begging for acceptance.

Leon nods.

"Right," Gwaine says, seemingly uninterested in the proceedings going on behind him, "any ideas magic boy."

It takes Merlin a moment to realise Gwaine is referring to him.

"I can distract the guards," he says, joining Gwaine. "We need to get into the castle, find Arthur ..."

"Hopefully still alive," Gwaine mutters.

"He is," Merlin replies with certainty, "I know it."

Gwaine seems to assess him for a moment but then he, like Leon, also nods.

"Do what you need to do," he says, clapping Merlin on the shoulder.

Merlin smiles and begins to cast an enchantment, so the guards would look the wrong way _just_ when he needed it.

"When I say now," he says.

The Knights ready themselves.

"Now."

* * *

The cell door won't give way.

Arthur spends what little strength he has, pounding against the iron frame.

He just has to do _something_. He can't give up.

Steps sound on the stairs beyond the cells and he tenses, ready for a fight.

"Oh dear brother," the drawl of her voice reaches him before he sees her, "how the mighty have fallen."

He steps away from the bars, uncomfortably noting the sheen of sweat covering him from his exertion and sickness.

However, he still stands tall, lifting his chin as Morgana steps into the light in front of the cell.

"Morgana."

They regard each other with cold distance.

Arthur tries not to think about how different things could have been.

Morgana reaches the bars and inspects her nails.

"You're to stand to trial soon," she says, "it won't last long I think. And once you're gone I'm sure the people will understand who their true leader is."

Arthur snorts. If there is one thing he knows, the people, the Knights, their allegiance would never fail. He wonders for a moment how many times he'd actually been properly thankful of that fact.

"You may laugh," Morgana spits out, "but when you burn on the pyre I will be the one laughing."

"What crime have I committed?" Arthur asks, stepping closer to her, "tell me my faults and I will remedy them."

"You know your crime Arthur Pendragon," Morgana hisses, "the hunting of my kind, the deaths of the innocent, even your own manservant! You're blinded by your hatred of magic just like Uther."

 _I'm not the only one who's blind,_ Arthur thinks, but instead he says, "I am not our father."

Morgana sneers. "I'm sure Merlin would say the same," she bites back sarcastically, "since you've now condemned him to a life of pain."

Arthur pauses, swallowing hard. "If you've hurt him Morgana," he begins but Morgana cuts him off with a harsh laugh.

"What? You think I am to blame for his suffering? You sent him away."

Arthur blinks back the tears, his shoulders slumping - _oh Merlin I'm so sorry_.

"We could let him know how you are," Morgana says, a smile curling her mouth, "I'm sure you've realised the _bond_ you share."

"Morgana don't-" Arthur says as Morgana raises her hand, casting the spell.

He's thrown backwards, and collides heavily with the wall of the cell. His blood is on fire and his vision goes white as he thrashes in pain.

Something registers whilst the attack on his senses is happening however; Merlin is nearby.

As Morgana ends the torture, she unlocks the cell, motioning for guards to take Arthur.

They haul him to his feet, and manhandle him up the stairs after Morgana.

 _Merlin is nearby_. It's all that keeps Arthur on his feet.

* * *

Merlin comes to a shuddering halt, out of breath and exhausted.

The castle is warded against magical and non-magical foes alike and from breaking down every last defence Morgana had put up, his strength is failing him.

Leon, Pecival and Elyan had gone another way, trying to find another route to the dungeons.

Gwaine at his side, he falls back against the wall, a sudden unbearable onslaught of pain battering down on him.

Gwaine looks at his questioningly, reaching out a hand to steady his friend.

"It's Arthur," Merlin pants, "he's in pain."

The pain ends suddenly and Merlin is left, gasping from breath against the corridor wall.

"We have to help him," he says, struggling upright and then bracing against Gwaine.

"Come on," Gwaine says, "I'll get you to the dungeons."

* * *

The guards dropped him to his knees in the middle of the council chambers.

Arthur vaguely remembers his father putting up a fight. He himself is in no fit state.

"Arthur Pendragon," Morgana says, lounging back in the the throne, the crown already upon her head. The crown Guinevere would have worn had they not decided to part and follow what their hearts told them. She had gone to Lancelot. Arthur to Merlin.

He'd wanted Merlin to sit beside him on the throne.

"You are convicted of manslaughter and the persecution of those with magic."

Beside Morgana, Agravaine stands, his smirk victorious.

"Do you have anything to say in your defence?"

Arthur meets Morgana's gaze, his sight wavering slightly as it begins to dawn on him, there may be no way out of this.

"I have only done what is fair and just for my people," Arthur responds slowly, "any judgements I have passed are what I have believed, to benefit the people."

Morgana narrows her eyes, clearly sensing the uncomfortable shifting in the nobles standing in the room.

At least they are a little loyal, he thinks.

"Blinded judgments based on beliefs instilled in you by your father," Agravaine speaks out, " _for the good of the people_ \- don't think you fool any of us with that anymore."

Arthur glares at Agravaine but does not retort. He's said all he has to say.

_What is he doing? Why is he not fighting back?_

"You will be burnt at the stake in penance for you crimes and in fair tribute to so many of my kind who met their death in the same way."

Arthur barely registers what Morgana has said until it slaps him round the face. He's just been dealt the death sentence.

He gets to his feet, determined to retain some form of his pride.

"My lady," he says, nodding to Morgana, "it is good to see you are upholding the beliefs instilled in you by _your_ father. I'm sure your mercy and forgiveness with be remembered for a long time to come."

There are murmurings in the court behind him and Agravaine starts forward at the jibe.

Morgana stops him but Arthur smiles to himself. One small victory.

"Guards," she orders, tossing her chin in Arthur's direction, "take him to the pyre."

Already built, Arthur thinks briefly, seemed like Morgana had made up her mind.

Or maybe she wanted to get it over with. The cat was tired of playing - time to eat the mouse and have done with it all.

Oh what a sad story it had become.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur wasn't in the dungeons. Merlin leans against the frame of the cell door, still trying to regain his strength.

"Where is he?" Gwaine demands angrily to no one in particular, returning from scouring every single dungeon.

 _Where is everyone_? Merlin thinks to himself. The castle seems all of a sudden, strangely deserted.

There's shouting from the passageway and a clatter of feet. Merlin draws his magic up, but releases it when he sees it's only Elyan, Leon and Percival.

"They've condemned him, they're going to burn Arthur on the pyre. In the courtyard. Now," Elyan pants desperately.

Leon and Percival look equally out of breath, but Gwaine looks puzzled.

"Why didn't you stay to help?" he asks, already heading for the stairs.

"There's guards everywhere, all ready to shoot. The people ... she's making them watch ... Morgana." The sentences come out in a jumbled array, incoherent and panicked.

Merlin gets the idea.

He launches ahead of the others, up the stairs. His magic is raging, barely controlled, as he sprints through the castle.

This isn't a matter of what might have happened before. Arthur may have sent him away, but it didn't matter. This was his destiny. _Arthur_ was his destiny.

He couldn't let that fall.

* * *

The courtyard is silent. A heavy weight of stillness presses itself over the people of Camelot which is either by magic or by fear. Every single one of them is there. Come to watch their king burn. Like they have a choice. Archers stand on the balconies surrounding the courtyard, their bows aimed into the crowd below. Ready to fire.

He's still barefoot and dressed raggedly, his feet slip over the cobbles and his head wanders meaninglessly from the shocked faces of the onlookers to the pyre ahead.

 _Maybe it won't hurt_ , he thinks dazedly. Maybe he's too numb now. Numb like he's been for days since Merlin left. _Since he sent Merlin away_.

Regret stings at his throat and claws at his eyes where unbidden tears spring forth.

However it should have ended, it should not have ended like this.

He wonders if Merlin will mourn.

The guards force him up onto the pyre and push him back against the wooden pole in the centre, binding his hand behind it.

A cold breeze blows through the courtyard, rippling his loose shirt. _Won't be cold for much longer_ , he thinks bitterly.

The guards have tied him so he faces the balcony, the place he himself had stood to watch so many others burn where he was now to burn. Morgana stands there, hooded green eyes cast down at him, her lips parted in a smile of victory.

Below him on the ground, Agravaine reached for a torch which has been set alight in a brazier. The first trail of heat tickles Arthur's face as Agravaine comes close.

His Uncle gives a triumphant smirk and drops the flaming torch down onto the wood surrounding Arthur's pyre.

The wind gets stronger, pushing the flames across the wood and the fire begins to spread.

Somewhere, a small child cries. The sounds are hastily muffled.

The wind is very strong now and Arthur dares a look around. It had come on so fast, it didn't seem natural.

The explanation would come shortly as Merlin bursts through form the castle doors, out into the courtyard.

The wind reaches it's peak and Agravaine has to step back, away from the pyre, in danger of being burned.

He's shouting angrily to guards on the ground. " _Get him!_ "

As dire as the situation is, Arthur gives a small chuckle. Agravaine's men don't stand a chance.

Above the raging of the wind, Arthur hears another voice shouting.

" _Shoot them_!"

Arthur looks up in horror to see the archers on the balcony preparing to fire.

People in the courtyard are screaming and trying to get to cover.

The archers loose their arrows.

The great golden dome spreads out over the courtyard, reaching from one balcony to another. The arrows hit it and promptly dissolve into golden sparks.

Chancing a glance at Morgana, Arthur sees that she looks furious.

It's Merlin obviously, his hand reached up, his eyes glowing with golden fire as he walks through the courtyard casting Agravaine's men aside with a flick of his hand.

Arthur swallows hard. He never realised Merlin could look so ... _beautiful._

The more pressing matter at hand would be the fire, now burning through the platform at his feet. The heat was becoming unbearable and, still in his weakened state, his knees are beginning to give out under him. 

That's when Merlin arrives at the pyre. 

"I have never been more please to see you," Arthur gasps, choking through the smoke. 

"Save the pleasantries for later Arthur," Merlin rasps back, covering his mouth against the smoke with his free hand whilst the other is still pointing up, holding the shield in place.

He loosens the ropes holding Arthur in place but as soon as Arthur is free, he drops to his knees, his legs no longer holding him up.

"Gwaine! GWAINE!" Merlin yells, grabbing Arthur under his arms and trying to drag him to the steps, away from the flames.

Gwaine appears through the smoke, leaping up the steps, his cape rippling over the flames.

"Get him down, get him out," Merlin instructs and Gwaine drags Arthur off the platform.

Arthur barely registers what's happening, the smoke and heat getting to him and Gwaine has to bear all his weight.

They stagger across the courtyard until they reach Leon and the others. Percival takes Arthur's weight off Gwaine and begins to lead the way to the gates.

"Wait," Arthur says hoarsely, "wait. _Merlin_."

The group slows and looks back. Morgana has left her balcony and is surely on her way down to the courtyard. Merlin is still holding the shield in place and knocking Agravaine's men down left, right and centre.

He looks up and meets Arthur's gaze for the briefest of moments.

"Go! GO!" he yells, dragging back men who were trying to attack civilians.

Percival turns, continuing to drag Arthur to safety. "No, no, we have to go back," Arthur mumbles hoarsely.

Percival looks to Leon for guidance.

"Arthur ..." Leon looks lost for words. "Merlin can handle it, you're the priority."

Arthur glances over his shoulder and freezes.

Morgana has come out into the courtyard and is approaching Merlin from behind, where he can't see her.

"MERLIN!!!" Arthur screams and Merlin looks around just too late.

Morgana smiles as she sends him flying.

Her next curse is directed at them and it's only by sheer luck that it rebounds off the last flickering veil of Merlin's shield.

"Get out!" Leon roars, helping Percival drag Arthur away.

Arthur only has eyes for Merlin's crumpled form, lying on the stone.

 _I'm sorry my love_.

The world around him fades into nothingness.


	6. Chapter 6

_His eyes are blue. His hair is golden. I love him. He loves me._

Merlin repeats the words to himself again and again, hoping they will hold the world of pain away.

_His eyes are blue. His hair is golden. I love him. He loves me._

Arthur's face wavers before his eyes, a smile on his lips, head thrown back in a laugh.

But the image fades before he can quite hold it still.

Darkness is all he knows, he hasn't opened his eyes for days. He thinks ...

_His eyes are blue. His hair is golden._

"I didn't want to have to do this Merlin," a soft voice comes from beside him. He can't quite remember who it belongs to. All he knows is that voice is the only voice that speaks to him any more. For some reason, he gets the feeling that he should be afraid of the voice ...

"But you were just so powerful," the voice - a woman he realises - continues, "so strong."

_I love him._

"Do you remember who I am Merlin?" the voice asks.

Merlin shakes his head feebly.

"I'm you friend. I'm here to help you."

"Do you remember Arthur?" the woman continues, her tone edged with ice.

Merlin pauses for a moment, then nods. How could he forget?

"He hurt you Merlin."

Merlin frowns.

"He left you, that's why you're here, that's why you're in pain now."

He whimpers.

_His eyes are blue. His hair is golden._

There's a sigh. 

"Another night with the madrake roots is in order then," she says and Merlin hears her get up and move away.

A door clangs shut, a key turns in the lock.

Screams, which at first are distant, become steadily louder, till they're all he can hear.

He rolls into a ball, hands over his ears, shaking with silent tears.

 _I love him_.

Darkness, pain and the screams all roll into one, and his heart ... it aches so much.

_He loves me?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I return from non-existence to update, apologise and promise quicker updates in future! Hope you enjoy this part, I enjoyed getting back into this verse :)

_He stands there and watches his king, crowned with glory and with light._

_He is no more than a humble servant but he knows, he knows without a shadow of a doubt that Arthur loves him._

_"Long live the King!"_

_It fills him with so much pride to say those words. To see Arthur in his rightful place as king._

_To know their destiny is firmly on course._

_He will tell Arthur soon, he knows that, he will tell Arthur soon and there will be no more secrets, no more lies._

_He will tell Arthur soon._

_"Long live the King!"_

* * *

 "ARTHUR LIE STILL!"

Arthur's back arches in pain as Leon manhandles him back onto the makeshift bed in the cave.

The arrow in his leg must have been poisoned. His mind is foggy and confused as Gaius tries to tend to the wound.

He's still not sure exactly what happened. The most he can remember is Merlin, lying on the stone of the courtyard. Merlin whom he sent away. Merlin whom he had now abandoned.

They'd made their escape, fleeing the castle, Arthur himself only half conscious. A stray crossbow bolt from one of Morgana's men landing in his thigh just before they made it to the woods.

If anything, he was really sick of being poisoned.

They'd found Gaius and made it to a cave in the woods.

Arthur couldn't concentrate however, couldn't focus. _He'd left Merlin._

He didn't even want to think about what Morgana might be doing to him. 

"Arthur! Arthur can you hear me?" Gaius' face wavers in and out of focus above him. 

He moans something incoherent and Gaius' features relax marginally.

"I'll give you something for the pain but it'll knock you out for a while, you'll be ready to move again soon, I'm sure."

Arthur reaches up, his fingers, brushing Gaius' sleeve and his face pleading.

"Merlin?"

Gaius moves forward, vial in hand, pouring the contents down Arthur's throat.

"We don't know," Gaius admits.

Arthur begins to panic.

"No, no," he mumbles, "have to go, have to save him ..." His world is beginning to go dim.

"When you wake," Gaius says soothingly, pressing Arthur down onto the bed, down into sleep.

**

When he wakes, it's with a clearer head that what feels like for days.

And he knows one thing, he must save Merlin.

Sheer determination forces him up from the bed, shaking off the last vestiges of sleep and rubbing his eyes.

There's noise as he presumes people must have noticed.

Gaius is first by his side, followed by Leon. The other knights are behind them, concerned, but partly relieved looks on their faces.

"What was in that thing Gaius?" Arthur asks, getting off the bed - more of a lump of rock in reality - and testing his leg. To his surprise the arrow wound gives nothing more than a faint twinge and as he looks to Gaius he sees a surreptitious smile on the physician's face. 

"Gaius, did you use magic?"

Gaius bows his head in acknowledgement and Arthur sighs through his teeth.

"You know that by law I should have you executed?" Arthur isn't sure if he's angry or just exasperated any more.

"Maybe the law needs changing?" Gwaine puts in, a small smile on his face.

Arthur swallows hard, knowing now there is no going back. He could see that sorcery could be a force for good, he guesses that maybe he'd always known that, and sorcery had been part of his life for so long now ... but the pain, the blows that those with magic had dealt him, they would be hard to forgive.

"Maybe it does," he mumbles.

Gwaine nods his approval. "You're a good man, Arthur."

Arthur feels like he could come up with some witty retort but instead just nods his thanks and turns to the group as a whole.

"We have a kingdom to win back."

* * *

 The darkness wavers for a moment and he catches a bright glimpse of sunlight, like some lot forgotten friend. In that sunlight stands a man, with glowing golden hair and sea blue eyes. But then the sunlight fades, and the darkness comes again.

He registers little, the torment and torture sending his senses into shut down, his eyes unseeing, his mouth not tasting the meager food they push through the bars. What he does do however, it listen.

The Lady, for that was all he knew her to be now - although he seems to have faint memories of her  _before_ \- had thought it fitting to keep him near her, as proof of her final conquering.

He hears their voices as they sweep through the council chambers, either ignoring the huddle figure in the cage or pausing to laugh and jeer.

So many enemies.

He's forgotten a time without pain.

And then he hears it. The name.

_Arthur. He's coming._

He shrinks back from the name, a faint, heartbreaking memory of a man with a sword and eyes burning with betrayal forcing it's way through the darkness. He curls in on himself, pushing the memories away, bringing the darkness back.

He hears The Lady laugh because she knows she's won.

A small tiny spark inside of him, the only part of him that's still real, still _Merlin_ , left, glimmers a little brighter with a memory of golden hair, a beautiful smile and a surge of magic within his veins. But then it's gone and the darkness returns.


	8. Chapter 8

Only when Arthur's leg is fully healed, does Gaius allow him to leave the cave and head toward Camelot. Arthur is frustrated, confined to the shadowy cave knowing that he needs to be out there, saving Merlin, his life, his love.

The Knights are determined as they make their way through the woods toward Camelot. Daylight streams through the canopy and the wood is alive with light and the fresh smell of nature. Arthur feels more alive, stronger and more confident than he has in some time. His own determination to carry out their mission, to free Merlin and have him back in his arms, spurs him on.

At the first sight of Camelot, his breath catches in his throat. So many memories burn bright behind his eyes, of better, happier days, back when Merlin had been his. And he'd been prepared to turn all that away?

Magic had always been part of his life, that he knew, but it was only recently that he'd begun to learn it wasn't simply a force of evil and destruction. The powers to destroy lay in every man, he himself had been known to land a killing blow without thinking. Magic was a tool, no different from his sword and it was the heart of the wielder that mattered. Morgana's heart was twisted and black, and her magic was dark, tainted by her need for revenge. Merlin's heart was gold, he knew that, and the way Merlin's eyes had shone with power spoke not of danger and darkness, but of protection and love.

The darkness had lain in him when he turned Merlin away.

Coming to these conclusions is difficult for Arthur, and his thoughts must show on his face.

"Arthur, are you alright?" Leon looks concerned and the other Knights pause.

Arthur takes a deep shuddering breath, not ashamed to find he has tears in his eyes as he faces his Knights, faces his brothers.

"We have to get him back."

Percival's hand lands heavy on his shoulder. Leon grips his sword and Elyan and Gwaine nod their assent.

"For Camelot," Leon says, drawing his blade.

"For Merlin." Arthur takes the lead, unsheathing his sword as they creep to the edge of the wood, eyes on the castle.

"When the guards move," Gwaine murmurs. Arthur gestures for the group to split and they all wait, tense as they watch the guards on the battlements.

They move in sync the moment the guards switch positions.

Arthur, Gwaine and Leon head left, toward the East gate, keeping low until they hit the wall and then creeping along behind barrels and carts. Percival and Elyan go right, circling the city, heading for the North tower and the door into the citadel there.

On Arthur's nod, Gwaine and Leon follow him up through the streets. There aren't many guards about and the thought troubles Arthur but he knows they have to keep moving.

Gaining access to the citadel is far too easy and as they pause in one of the corridors, Gwaine frowns.

"Where is everyone?"

"It doesn't matter." Arthur knows Morgana will have contrived some plan, aiming to capture and kill him. He also knows, they'll never find Merlin if they simply worry about Morgana and don't do anything.

They travel silently and swiftly down corridors and it's when they're near the heart of the city that Leon pulls Arthur back.

"Surely Merlin will be in the dungeons, why go to the throne room?"

"You're forgetting," Arthur responds, "I know Morgana better than you. She'll want Merlin close."

**ooo**

As they burst into the throne room, Arthur's eyes dart everywhere, trying to seek out Merlin. He can't see him.

Agravaine stands at Morgana's side and he smirks upon seeing Arthur. Arthur doesn't miss the bruise on Agravaine's cheek. Morgana presumably wasn't happy at his escape.

Morgana herself is lounging on the throne, a picture of triumph.

"Where is he Morgana?" Arthur doesn't wait for her to start and strides forward himself, his sword outstretched.

Morgana raises an eyebrow, a smile on her face.

"Who?" she asks innocently.

"You know who."

"Oh, Merlin. Of course. Bring him out."

She gestures to two guards who step behind the throne and drag something out from behind it. Arthur tastes bile in his mouth when he sees it's a cage. A small figure is huddled in the corner. It would be hard to mistake the red neckerchief.

Gwaine tries to step forward but Leon stops him, eying Morgana.

Arthur doesn't care about his traitor of a sister. He only has eyes for Merlin. The man's hair is a mess, and seems to have lost weight even in his short captivity. He's curled up on himself so Arthur can't see his face. Eventually he tears his eyes away to meet Morgana's gaze.

"How could you?" he forces out.

"Oh, I don't see anything wrong, I didn't even lock the door." One of the guards pulls the door open, Merlin remains huddled in the corner.

"Merlin ..." Arthur's voice breaks.

Merlin visibly jumps and curls further in on himself.

"Bring him out," Morgana orders.

The two guards haul Merlin out and drop him to the floor between Arthur and Morgana.

"Sorry for bringing you out pet," Morgana says, her voice sickly sweet. "But Arthur's here. You remember what Arthur did to you don't you? You remember what you have to do."

Arthur steps forward, reaching out a hand.

"Merlin. Merlin, can you hear me?"

Merlin shoots upright, a hand flying out and Arthur has one heart stopping moment of looking into those brightly glowing, golden eyes before he's thrown backwards across the room, landing hard against his shoulder.

"Leon don't!"

Arthur raises himself up to see Gwaine holding back Leon who's sword is now trained on Merlin.

Leon looks to Arthur who shakes his head firmly.

Morgana's laughing and she gets to her feet, clapping her hands in a mock applause.

"Well done, pet. Well done."

"Don't call him that!" Gwaine advances, his eyes burning with anger.

Ropes fly out of nowhere and Gwaine is slammed back against a pillar, bound tightly.

"Sir Leon," Morgana says, turning her gaze to the other knight who flinches. "Remove Sir Gwaine of his sword and you should take Arthur's as well. Give them with your own to Agravaine."

At first it seems Leon is going to refuse but Morgana simply lets a spell roll off her tongue and Gwaine writhes against the ropes, screaming in obvious pain.

Leon hastens to follow Morgana's orders, giving Arthur an apologetic look as he takes his sword from where it had fallen on the ground.

Agravaine takes the weapons from Leon, his smirk mocking and Arthur praises Leon for not reacting.

"Come and kneel in front of me, Sir Leon."

Leon hesitates, looking to Arthur.

Morgana raises her hand toward Gwaine.

"Do as she says Leon," Arthur sighs.

Morgana smiles toward Arthur as Leon moves and kneels in front of her.

"Stay." Ropes spring into reality and bring Leon's wrists but Arthur can sense the magic and guesses from the stiffness of Leon's back that Morgana has bound him to that spot.

"So you see Arthur," Morgana says, stepping away from Leon and kneeling down beside Merlin who had collapsed back to the floor after his attack on Arthur. She strokes his cheek briefly. "In time, they'll all turn to me. They'll have no choice."

"The only thing which saddens me," Arthur says, as he slowly gets to his feet, "is that that is what you want. You could have had anything you chose Morgana. Yet you chose darkness. Chose force. Chose to turn away."

"You're wrong Arthur." Morgana gets to her feet, her smile gone. "I had no choice."

Her eyes glow gold and for a moment, Arthur is confused, wondering why nothing has happened. Then she turns her gaze on Merlin and begins to chant a spell. Arthur falls to his knees, Merlin's screams in his ears as his pain pounds through his blood.

She's bound them again, made them feel each others' pain. A small whimper escapes Arthur and Morgana smiles. The pain intensifies, burning bright, white and hot until everything goes white.

Then there's darkness and Arthur welcomes it.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur wakes slowly, metal digging into his back and his body aching all over.

Pushing himself from the darkness takes time, unconsciousness trying to claim him again and as he wakes more fully, pain rolls over him.

He shifts where he's sat only to find, he can't. He's tied to the bars behind him, thick rope cutting into his wrists and as he struggles against them, he find ropes lashed across his chest as well.

He groans and opens his eyes.

Early morning light shines through the windows of the throne room, the stained glass throwing patches of red, yellow, green and blue across the floor. He realizes he's in a cage, _Merlin's_ cage, bound to the bars. The cage isn't big and his back aches from where he must have been slouching whilst unconscious. 

Then, there's Merlin.

He's across the cage from Arthur, curled up in the farthest corner. His face is shielded by his arms and he appears to be trembling. After taking a look around and gauging that they're alone in the room, Arthur reaches out with his foot, trying to see if Merlin will respond.

"Merlin. Can you hear me? Merlin?"

He moves, uncurling from his foetal position and raises his head. Arthur recoils at the sight. Merlin's eyes are shadowed, his face gaunt. His hair is too long and his skin too pale. He's not the Merlin Arthur knows, there's no fire in him anymore.

"Stop talking," Merlin rasps out.

"What?"

"Stop talking."

"I'm the king, Merlin. You can't tell me what to do." Arthur trying for some sense of normalcy.

"Stop talking or she'll make me hurt you again."

Merlin's words force Arthur into silence.

After seeming to come to the conclusion that Arthur will stay quiet, Merlin curls up on himself again.

" _She'll make me_ …" Arthur prodded, interested my Merlin's choice of words. "Does that mean you won't want to hurt me?"

Arthur barely even blinks before Merlin lunges at him across the cage.

"Of course I do!" he shrieks. His eyes are burning, black pits. "I know what you did you me, I remember it all, how you hurt me! How you betrayed me! How you turned me away! I want to hurt you,  _so much_ . I want you to feel my pain!"

Merlin's fingers close around his throat and all logical thought disappears from Arthur's head, his breath stolen from his lungs. Merlin's words are ringing in his ears and a tear rolls slowly down his cheek because Merlin is right. He turned Merlin away. He caused Merlin pain. He did this to Merlin.

Merlin's fingers tighten and Arthur's gaze is drawn to meet his. Arthur blinks when he sees that Merlin is also crying.

"Do it," Arthur says quietly. "I deserve it."

But Merlin seems to change his mind, he retracts his grips and silently slips back to the other side of the cage.

Arthur lets out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"All your magic, Merlin, and yet you try to kill me with your hands," Arthur says wheezily, the thought seeming odd to him.

"It hurts," Merlin mumbles, almost inaudibly. "My magic hurts … so much."

Sympathy wells up in Arthur. He desperately wants to reach out to Merlin, to hold him. He wants to apologise, to say that he had been wrong, to say that he should never, never have turned Merlin away. But looking at Merlin now, Arthur couldn't help but admit to himself that he may be too late. And it was all his fault. 

The sound of the throne room doors opening makes Arthur jerk and hastily blink away the tears that had settled on his lashes. 

“Are you boys getting along nicely?” Morgana's voice carries over, her heels clacking over stone. Merlin isn't saying anything and Arthur stays quiet also. 

“I had to lock your little knights away Arthur. Apparently they weren't so keen to pledge allegiance but I'm sure that can be changed.” Arthur can't see her but he can almost hear the smirk. 

“How are you pet?” Morgana continues, walking closer to the cage until Arthur can see her. She kneels down next to Merlin. Something of a victory smile shows on her face. 

“He hasn't spoken in a long time,” she says, her gaze traveling to Arthur's, “poor thing doesn't know who he even is any more. Funny, he was meant to be my doom.”

Arthur bites back the fact that Merlin had spoken to him not moments ago. 

Morgana seems disappointed that Arthur isn't reacting and so she turns away, going to sit on the throne. 

“What exactly did you do to him?” Arthur asks, his gaze still on Merlin.

Morgana smirks. “Mandrake roots are extremely potent. I caused him to relive his worst moments, see things that weren't there. I turned him against Camelot, against you, against himself.”

Arthur swallows down the bile that had risen in his throat. He feels sick. 

“It's sad really,” Morgana continues. “He was so powerful. We could have done so much together and yet, now he's no more than a shell. I hate him. I've hated him for so long, yet I can't help but feel sorry for him.”

Arthur regards her warily, trying to work out if she has some sort of ulterior motive. 

“So much power …” Morgana muses herself into silence until the smile quickly reappears. 

“But now it's all mine.”

She come and kneels down next to Merlin once again. “As we agreed, pet.”

Arthur tenses, dreading what Merlin might be forced to do, but all that happens is that Morgana gives a small shriek of surprise and starts backwards. Arthur blinks, for a moment believing that he saw Merlin smile.

Morgana practically runs from the room and silence descends once again. 

“Merlin! Merlin?!” 

Arthur looks at Merlin, desperately hoping for some sign, some indication that Merlin wasn't quite as lost as he had thought … But what ever spark of the real Merlin that had been there, had gone. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** Violence in this chapter

Arthur tries talking to Merlin more than once, but nothing seems to get through. Eventually, he falls silent, trying in vain to get loose from the ropes binding him. If he's right and Merlin's magic acted against Morgana, then Morgana will want to rectify that and soon. Arthur dreads to think what she might do in her desperation and fights against his bindings, not wanting to be weak when she returns.

He looks at Merlin, or, at least, the person that used to be Merlin. This time he can't help the tears and they spill over, running down his cheeks until he's a mess.

His Merlin. His beautiful, wonderful Merlin. Gone. He'd lost him, and it was all his fault.

If he'd not been so prejudiced, not been so quick to judge. If he'd realised sooner that magic could be a force for good. If he'd seen through what he'd been taught and just _seen_ , seen that this was Merlin, Merlin who cried over dead rabbits and unicorns, Merlin who was bright and glorious and so so perfect in Arthur's eyes ... if Merlin had magic, than how could magic ever be evil?

Why did he only see that now?

"I'm sorry, Merlin," he says eventually, giving up his fight against the rope and just trying to get rid of the dead weight of emotion in his chest. Merlin couldn't hear him anyway, he had nothing to lose.

"I should never have turned you away. I should have seen you weren't there to harm me. Should have known you were only ever at my side. I never acknowledged it, you see, never told you how I feel, _really_ feel. And now I've lost that chance."

He lets his head fall back against the bars, trying not to simply let go and cry himself into oblivion. He was meant to be strong, damn it. He was meant to be brave. But no, Merlin was the brave one. And Arthur couldn't be brave, couldn't be strong, without Merlin by his side.

"I love you. I love you so much and I am so, so sorry. So sorry."

He quietens again after that. Merlin couldn't hear him - what was the point?

He feels a feather-light tough near his face and startles.

A small blue butterfly settles on his shoulder and it's wings brush his cheek. It was a gorgeous thing, bright and bold, but so fragile. Arthur wonders briefly how it had got into the throne room but realises it doesn't really matter. The butterfly makes him smile. Makes him feel not so alone.

The doors to the throne room burst open and Arthur jumps, dislodging the butterfly which disappears when he blinks. Craning his head around he sees Morgana and Agravaine entering the room. Morgana looks distressed but she schools her face into a calm facade when she sees Arthur looking.

Several guards follow the pair into the room and Arthur stiffens as he sees Gwaine and Leon dragged in among them, both unconscious.

The guards come to the cage, cutting loose Arthur's bonds and then dragging him from inside the bars. Arthur doesn't put up a fight, with so many guards around it would be pointless, and when they leave him in the middle of the room on the floor, he doesn't make any effort to hide the fact he's been crying.

"Your presence appears to be affecting my hold over our mutual friend," Morgana spits, standing in front of the throne and watching as the guards proceed to drag Merlin from the cage. "Quite clearly that leaves me with only one option."

Arthur presses his lips together, holding back everything he wants to say. He can't help but feel desperately sorry for Morgana. There used to be a time when they would fight _together_ _._ And win. Now their fight promises no winner, both sides having lost too much.

What her words promise now is hardly unexpected. Arthur hadn't presumed she would let him live long, despite whatever cruel entertainment she was gleaning from setting him and Merlin against each other.

She crosses the room to stand behind Merlin who is lying in a crumpled heap on the floor. She crouches down beside him and rest a hand on the back of his neck.

" _Gehieran_ _._ "

Merlin jerks upright and Arthur bites back a gasp to see his lover's eyes, burning with a golden fire.

"Kill Gwaine for me pet will you?"

Arthur closes his eyes.

_Clever, Morgana, oh so very clever._

He hears a strangles yell and when he opens his eyes, Gwaine is on the floor between the two guards who had been holding him.

Arthur bites his tongue to hold back his emotions.

"Now Leon for me, if you will."

Arthur watches this time. Watches as Leon's lifeless form crumples to the floor. Tears sting his eyes.

"Very good, pet."

So this was it. This was the end. Morgana ruthlessly commanding the person Arthur loved to kill everyone he held dear. And then, once he'd killed Arthur, Merlin would truly be broken.

Although, Arthur reasons, he was probably broken before. And that was Arthur's fault and his fault alone.

"And so, to bring about the destruction of the old Camelot and the rise of the new ... kill Arthur. _Please_."

Arthur sucks in a breath, moving his eyes to Merlin, because if he's going to die, Merlin's is the face he wants to see.

The moment seems to last a life time until Arthur realises, Merlin is hesitating.

"Kill Arthur." Morgana sounds more determined, her eyes also glowing gold now.

Merlin flinches at the command. Not hesitating, no, _fighting_.

"Go on, Merlin," he says, because now, maybe now is the time to say these things. Things which could mean his salvation or destruction. Words which had to be said. "Do it. You know I deserve it. I've lost you, I know that, and now it's my time to pay. But please Merlin, believe me when I say, I paid that price from the moment I watched you leave and I've been paying it a thousand times over since."

"Don't listen to him. Kill him!" Morgana looks furious and Arthur can tell why, Merlin is visibly fighting it now.

"I turned you away. From me, from our home, but Merlin, please understand that I would have done anything, _anything_ to bring you back, to bring you home to me."

Out of the corner of his eye, Arthur sees Gwaine move, one eye opening and shutting in a surreptitious wink.

 _Well done, Merlin_.

"KILL HIM!"

There's a rush of wind which knocks Arthur backwards and Morgana lets out a scream. " _No!_ _"_

She appears to release her hold on Merlin and he slumps back to the floor, Arthur scrambles to get to him but Morgana knocks him back. 

"Well, if I have to do it myself," she sneers, raising her hand.

"For the love of Camelot!"

Gwaine's war cry breaks Morgana's attention and she falters. Gwaine has leapt to his feet, somehow managing to steal a sword. Leon jumps up in the same moment and with a lack of a weapon simply punches his guards in the face. 

There's more shouting then and Percival and Elyan - where on earth had they been? - burst into the room.

Morgana, however, has refocused on her task, letting the guards take care of Arthur's knights.

She shouts her curse over the commotion in the hall but it never reaches Arthur. Instead, a golden shield rears up, cocooning both he and Merlin within it. Morgana screams in anger.

"Merlin!"

Arthur crawls over to where Merlin is huddled on the floor and gently lifts his head. Within the shield, the sounds of the fight are muted and Arthur simply holds Merlin, not letting go in case the moment might break.

"Merlin, can you hear me?"

"Arthur?"

"Yes, Merlin, it's me." A smile breaks out on Arthur's face and within the burning gold of Merlin's eyes he sees recognition.

"It hurts, Arthur. It hurts so much." Merlin's whimper is faint and Arthur pulls himself closer so their foreheads are touching. Merlin's brow is on fire and Arthur winds his fingers into Merlin's hair trying to tell himself that it will all be okay. 

"Hold on for me, please Merlin. Hold on. Keep fighting it."

"You won't ... you won't turn me away again?" The frightened, desperate plea shatters Arthur's heart and the tears spring forth once again.

"Never. Never Merlin. Please, believe me that wherever you are, wherever you end up, if we are ever apart again I will do everything, I will do _anything_ to bring you back to me. I will bring you home, Merlin. Please, just let me."

There's a burst of light, so bright that Arthur has to shut his eyes against it. A moment later it fades and Merlin lets out a small, shuddering gasp and falls limp in Arthur's arms, his eyes fading from gold back to blue. The shield around them disintegrates and Arthur expects to hear the sound of the fight come back in force ... but there's nothing. Just silence.

Morgana's guards have fallen. Gwaine is stepping away from Agravaine's fallen form. Leon is helping a wounded Elyan to his feet. Percival is gingerly holding an injured arm to his stomach. Morgana lies crumpled at the foot of the throne.

And Merlin, Merlin is still.

Arthur reaches for his neck, placing his fingertips over where he should feel a pulse.

"Merlin?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Old English Translation** Gehieran - Obey


	11. Chapter 11

The sunlight is like a long lost friend and even through the tiny crack in his eyelids, it's too bright for Merlin. He lets them drop shut again, but even with his eyes closed, the darkness was different to how it had been before. It was cool, refreshing and somewhere in his heart, he knew he was safe here.

He was warm too, his magic curling contentedly around his heart and somehow, everything just felt ... _right_.

"Merlin?" The voice next to him is soft, timid even and something in the person's tone is so wretched, so broken that Merlin reaches out a hand, trying to comfort them.

"He's awake!"

There's a flurry of movement around him, voices and sounds which Merlin can't define but they don't sound dangerous. He keeps his eyes shut, not quite ready for the brightness of the world.

"Merlin, can you hear me?" It was the same voice as before and the rush of familiarity that struck Merlin was enough to make him open his eyes, twisting towards the voice, his hand reaching out once more.

"Ar'hur?"

"Yes, Merlin, it's me."

The world is blinding, the sunlight that he'd been missing for long almost too much, until Arthur moves, placing himself between the window and Merlin, his head crowned in a halo of light. 

Arthur pulls Merlin into his arms, hesitant at first but then firm as Merlin curls closer, inhaling Arthur's scent and letting his eyes drift shut once again.

"Never, never do that to me again," Arthur says quietly, pressing his lips to Merlin's forehead.

Merlin lifts a hand, tilting Arthur's head towards him and guiding their lips together. As they kiss, Merlin's heart beats faster, his magic glowing and swelling until it seems his whole world is alight.

It was Arthur who pulls back first and through his lashes, Merlin cad see Arthur looking expectant.

"Never," he promises.

* * *

Night draws in and Arthur finds himself at the window of his chambers, looking out over the city. Merlin is asleep, wrapped in the covers on Arthur's bed, his face open and relaxed. Safe.

The past few days were not ones Arthur would want to ever relive again and try as he might, he cannot let go of just how close he had come to losing Merlin forever.

_"Merlin?"_

_"Merlin ... Merlin, please."_

_"MERLIN!"_

There had been a moment, one brief, terrifying moment when Merlin's heart had stopped, when there had been not pulse, when Merlin had ... died.

He glances back over his shoulder, reassuring himself that Merlin really is there, alive and breathing.

Letting out a breath, he rests his head against the cool glass, the lights of the city glimmering and dancing as his eyes drift shut.

_"He'll be alright, Arthur. He will. He'll just need time."_

_"I ... this was all my fault, Gaius. I should never have turned him away."_

_"Perhaps you are right. But I think you'll find Merlin has forgiven you. Your destiny is stronger than anything."_

_"I loved him, Gaius. I loved him and I sent him away."_

_..._

_"Gaius, don't look at me like that. I'm not a child any more."_

_"Merlin has forgiven you. Now you need to forgive yourself."_

The problem was, Arthur didn't think he ever could. 

He senses a warmth at his back and Merlin's arms go round him.

"You should be asleep," he reprimands him gently.

"So should you," Merlin responds, pressing a kiss to Arthur's neck.

Arthur relaxes back into Merlin's embrace, scared to admit just how out of his depth he was. Just how broken he was.

As if reading his mind, Merlin tightens his grip. "You can tell me," he murmurs.

"You ... Merlin, you've been through a lot--"

"As have you."

"You need time to rest--"

"So do you."

"You need time to ... to mend."

"We'll do it together."

Arthur bites his lip, fighting to hold away the tears because Merlin is still loyal, still true, still ... _Merlin_.

"Like we always have."

Merlin turns Arthur in his arms until they are facing, the bare inch Merlin has on him enough for Arthur to feel somewhat dwarfed and that's wrong because he's the strong one, he's the one who holds Merlin, he's the one who holds it all together. Merlin rests his forehead against Arthur's ... and maybe in that moment Merlin wasn't strong either, and they were simply holding each other, holding tight and not daring to let go because they are both broken and they are the only thing stopping the other from breaking apart.

"And always will."

**OOO**

It's just before the dawn when Arthur wakes, his arms wrapped around Merlin's, his nose buried in the soft hair at the nape of Merlin's neck, his whole world filled up with Merlin, Merlin, Merlin.

He would never let that change again.

An idea hits him and he untangles himself from Merlin's limbs, careful to draw the covers up so Merlin won't be disturbed.

Pulling on some clothes, he heads for the door, sparing a glance back at Merlin's slumbering form and letting a smile curl the corner of his mouth.

He slips out and closes the door quietly behind him. He has something he needs to do.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Final chapter! Thank you so much for sticking with this and the completely terrible amount of time between updates but we've made it! Thank you for your comments, kudos and feedback along the way, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it!
> 
> I'll go back through it soon and tidy up the errors!
> 
> Thank you again, this is my first WIP I've completed so I hope you've enjoyed it :)

"Merlin! Wake up!" Unlike most voices he's been hearing recently, this one is not panicked or urgent. No, this one is excited.

"Out of bed. Now!"

Merlin blinks awake, confusion creasing his brow as he takes in Arthur, already fully dressed and bouncing were he stands, an eager smile on his face.

"Wha-? Arthur?"

"Out of bed, come on Merlin, I've got something to show you."

It had been a week. A week of rebuilding and reforming. Morgana was dead, Agravaine was dead. Camelot was safe.

Merlin had healed, Arthur had held himself together and each night they had fallen into each other, finding safety and comfort in the others' arms.

"Do I have to?" Merlin asks, the warmth of the bed calling him back to sleep.

"Yes." Arthur springs round the bed and whips the covers away, the cold air making Merlin yelp in protest.

"Get dressed, come on you lazy sod."

"Dollop-head," Merlin grumbles.

Arthur tosses some clothes at him and Merlin pulls them on, frowning as he realises they aren't his own.

They were a simple deep blue tunic and breeches made of soft leather. The tunic was softer than any he owned himself and the cuffs and collar were embroidered with a thin gold thread.

"I didn't think you'd want anything too regal," Arthur mumbles, looking anxious as he watches Merlin change.

"They're ... they're gorgeous, but why--"

Arthur's moment of quiet anxiety vanishes and he springs forward once again. "No time for that. Come with me."

Sighing, Merlin followes his master.

* * *

Arthur hides his worry carefully, still wondering if it's too much, if it's too soon.

Merlin never had been one for loud processions, never one to stand at the front of the crowd. Arthur knew now, the realisation coming to him bit by bit, just how much Merlin had done for him and just how many times Merlin hadn't accepted the credit. All those times he had saved Arthur's life and yet preferred to be a step behind, always the servant, never the hero.

Arthur was determined that was going to change.

He leads Merlin swiftly down the corridors, glancing back at him every now and then, trying to gauge Merlin's response. At this stage, he merely looked bemused, a small smile curling the corner of his mouth whenever Arthur looks back.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asks, jogging a little to catch up with Arthur and latching his fingers round Arthur's wrist. Arthur pauses long enough to flash him a grin before pulling him on.

"Wait and see, _Mer_ lin!"

* * *

  _He'd always wondered if perhaps Arthur does know. If in those smiles and intimate moments, Arthur has known and has been trying to tell Merlin all along._

_Arthur keeps telling him "there's something special about you, Merlin." and Merlin has secretly hoped that Arthur has known._

_They lie together in the soft grass at the edge of the clearing, sunlight dappling Arthur's hair and the scent of summer hanging heavy in the air._

_"You do know I love you, don't you Merlin?" Arthur asks, his face completely open and honest, his eyes betraying just how much Merlin's answer means to him._

_"Of course I do," Merlin responds, twining his fingers through Arthur's and bringing his hand up to his lips to kiss it. "And you know I love you too?"_

_With his free hand Arthur traces his thumb across Merlin's lips._

_"If there's one thing I know to be true, it's that. I would never doubt you, Merlin."_

* * *

Arthur hesitates at the door to the throne room, looking back at Merlin with an anxious smile.

Merlin offers one back, taking Arthur's hand and squeezing it.

Arthur pushes the great oaken doors open and they step inside.

The early morning light shines through the windows showering the floor in a cascade of dawn colours. The room is entirely still, a hush over everything as if the whole world is waiting for something.

Merlin looks to Arthur, frowning slightly but Arthur simply nods in the direction of the throne.

In fact, in the direction of the _thrones_.

Two thrones, side by side, covered in rich Pendragon-red velvet.

Merlin's mouth falls open in a small gasp and Arthur's grip tenses in his own for a moment.

"It's for you," he mumbles quietly, looking at Merlin like his whole world rests in the balance. "If you'll have me?"

Merlin closes the space between them in step, throwing his arms around Arthur's neck and pulling him into a hug, breathing in his scent, tears resting on his eyelashes.

"Is that a yes?" comes Arthur's muffled question by Merlin's ear.

"Yes, yes, for ever and ever," Merlin chokes back, tears spilling down his cheeks because he still doesn't quite understand what he's done to deserve the love of someone like Arthur.

"You're not meant to be crying!" Arthur protests shakily, reaching up to wipe away the tears, his own eyes glistening.

"It's because I love you, you prat!" Merlin exclaims, a wobbly laugh escaping him.

Arthur puts his hands behind Merlin's head, pulling them close again until their foreheads are touching.

"I love you too."

"For ever and ever."

"Till the ends of the earth."

* * *

_Arthur is sat at his table, pouring over some report or other about grain supplies. Merlin has told him long ago to go to bed but would Arthur listen? No._

_He stokes the fire, enjoying the warmth and the gentle crackling, wondering if Arthur will let him go to bed. It had been a long day, a bandit attack in the forest and Merlin had only just spotted the man with the crossbow in time to save Arthur. He needs sleep._

_Arthur had joked at Merlin later, calling him a coward for hiding behind the tree._

_Merlin gave a sad smile, thinking about everything he could have said in that moment._

_"It's because I couldn't let you see!"_

_"It's because I had to save your life!"_

_"It's because I have magic!"_

_"It's because I love you and I couldn't bear to let you get hurt ..."_

_He looks over at Arthur, still lost in the report, a small frown pinching his forehead._

_Swallowing down his emotions, he sweeps the ash back into the grate and adds another log to the fire._

_He wonders how it will happen when it does. Will it be just the two of them? Will he save Arthur at just the right moment, revealing his powers because he has no other choice? Will he simply stumble one day and it all come out by accident?_

_Will he ever tell him?_

* * *

"And by the sacred laws vested in me, I, Arthur Pendragon, crown thee Merlin of Ealdor, King of Camelot."

The crown is simple, and when it rests on Merlin's head it bares none of the weight that his destiny does. He looks up, gazing into the blue of Arthur's eyes and smiling, one of those smiles which is for Arthur and Arthur alone.

Destiny is still to come, he still has to protect Arthur, protect Camelot. He will still ask himself everyday if he can do it ... but right now, right here - is all the answer he needs. 

\-- **End**

 


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